The most interesting thing about habits is that they can “work for you or against you,” so it is essential to understand the details.
It will seem awkward to you to receive knowledge like this coming from a wayward homeless person who always lived on the opposite side of good habits. But to be honest, who could give you a better insight than the one who has been to the dark side of the moon; It’s not that it’s so terrible there— I imagine it’s freezing and lonely.
Let's get to the point.
I'll give you an example based on my experience: I struggled to stay away from alcohol, to get out of alcoholism that had me caged to the point of becoming destitute. I had the misperception that just by putting up with not drinking for a day (one day at a time), I would get the desired result— reject alcohol altogether.
I focused all my energy only on the result, which is why it never worked for me, and I suffered half a decade in that state between many stumbles and falls.
It was when I started to lean on a system that I was able to achieve the goal.
I learned that “you do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”—James clear.
That understanding revolutionized my recovery by not setting my sights on the "sobriety" outcome but instead focused on striving to maintain a sequence (system) of little habits that would sustain me in the goal of staying "sober."
I can tell you that systems do not exist in your head when you are in the middle of a war with alcoholism. You can never win a battle with a drunken mind; unless you're the drunken Master. You must get a clear sense to see your options and alternatives.
I had to change my whole system, from moving away from my environment to staying socially healthy. All that changed my appearance and mind day by day, which made me gain momentum, grateful for staying away from alcohol every day.
It may sound easy, but let me tell you, I felt like I went through hell in the first few months of my recovery. I found that making the drinking habit difficult made my abstinence easier. The mere act of sneaking out of my room, making the trip to the liquor store, and finding a hiding place to drink made the task tedious.
However, I fell off the wagon many times, and my conscience would kill me the next day with regrets. There was something stupid about the act of getting drunk; I did it not only to calm the alcohol anxiety but to have absurd times of daydreaming.
For me, the perfect cocktail was music and alcohol. The alcohol mocked my reasoning, and with the music, I daydreamed as if everything was fine.
I think that was what made me come back again and again to repeat the habit. I missed that chemistry in my brain.
Bad habits repeat themselves repeatedly, not because you don’t want to change, but because you have the wrong system for change.—James Clear.
Ultimately, it was my commitment to the process that determined my progress.
In conclusion: Goals are good for setting a direction, but systems are best for making progress.
Our life is the reflection of our daily decisions, NOT our knowledge.
By sharing my experiences, I hope you get something valuable to help you challenge any habit controlling your life.
Thanks for reading.
Together we can learn better.
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